Consistency to gain both happiness and Balance.
Get out of your own way, stay on it and accomplish your goals
Are you in your own way? Today, I want to talk about small wins, creating consistency, being happy, and finding balance. These are all things that I am working toward. Sometimes we work so hard we forget to appreciate the journey and then there are other times we never start the journey because we are afraid, we won’t end up where we want to when we will always end up where we are supposed to.
Step One:
The first step or thing that I am working on is getting out of my own way and stop making excuses. I am notorious for making excuses. I am a people pleaser and I try not to disappoint. The fact of life is that you are not going to make everyone happy. You can’t. You can only make YOURSELF happy. Let me say this another way. It is not your responsibility to make others happy. You only have a responsibility to make yourself happy. Now some may see that and think that is selfish, putting your happiness above anyone else’s, but that is not what I am saying. I say you can not be the source of someone else’s happiness. See additional posts on happiness, here.
So, 1, stop enabling yourself to not accomplish what you want, by putting you on hold (Let me preface this by saying, by no means skimp on your responsibilities, for instance, if you are a parent, family first, but what I am referring to are the extra things that we say yes to because we feel obligated. For example, that cousin, that you don’t really mesh with that blows into town unannounced and guilts you into going out, but you REALLY don’t want to but you do. Those types of things.)
Step two:
The second step is don’t beat yourself up and appreciate the small wins.
You are not going to make every ritual but celebrate when you do. You are going to miss a class or event eventually but work hard when you go. Celebrate the small wins, celebrate the moment. Stop always thinking about what is next. I KNOW this is hard with everything we want to and need to do. Sometimes being in the moment in front of you is hard, but we must try. The little moments, the unplanned moments are the ones that stick with us.
Give yourself credit when credit is due. Again, don’t punish yourself when you miss a goal or a task, but make sure that you don’t make it a habit. Acknowledge it, complete it when you can, and move forward. For instance, let’s look at daily tasks. You have laundry to do, and you scheduled it for a particular day, BUT that day you wake up with a migraine. Skip laundry, get better, and do it tomorrow, but don’t let more than a day pass before you are back on YOUR schedule. On the flip side, if you wake up feeling great and have a lot of energy, do that task, and hey, why not start tackling the tasks for tomorrow. Now you have opened yourself up for more possibilities.
Consistency
It’s not how many but the quality. The quality of the time that you dedicate to meditation, to training, to spiritually connecting with yourself. These do not have to be extended or in-depth hourly sessions but when you do you must be focused and on a regular basis.
Balance
All this leads to balance. People burn out. I know I do, hence my ups and downs, in training, in my spiritual dedication, in writing, in life. I overthink. I jump in and expect too much of myself instead of starting with baby steps. You must listen to your body and mind. While you may want to meditate 7 days a week and that’s great, you may not be able to one day due to other responsibilities.
Prioritize
Prioritize. You cannot beat yourself up for missing one day, two days, or more, beat yourself up when you give up. Don’t go too hard on anyone aspect. Find that balance between your ideal and what you can, actually, do. Find your Balance.
And finally, …
Be happy, if it’s not making you happy move on. You cannot lose if it really didn’t mean anything to you. If it makes you happy you will keep at it. Make sure you have people that make you happy as well as actions and remember to give yourself breaks. We are only human.
I train as much as I can, but I listen to my body. Now I don’t mean if you just don’t want to don’t. I mean if there is a legit reason to, you are sick/exhausted, you must stay late at work or other work/school function, things like that. You must learn yourself to know, are you being self-defeating or is this a real reason you must bypass today? There is a difference between what you want to do, need to do, and are obligated to do.
Just believe in you, and the universe. Things work out when and how they are supposed to if you allow them to and actively work toward the things that you want. Above all, be happy, find your balance and be consistent toward that which you wish to achieve.
Be happy, find your balance and create consistency. Blessed be!
